Chrispy Blahg

I had originally made this guy a week ago, but now that I’ve got the full Spore Creature Creator, I decided to tweak him. I don’t know if he’s ugly, but I know understand how parents can love their ugly child.

Simply brilliant. I don’t know what this is from, but it’s Monty Python brilliant.

I fear I will click on a woman and they will find out my house and it will really be a big fat bastard who wants to get to know my sex.

It would be dangerous and so I do not grow an account.

Mistake my keyboard. Sorry.

I would be very bored if I find out that I not have a soul.

I belief that only really bad horrible men go into hell, like that do terrible like kill for not a defense standpoint and rape human innocents.

You’re probably best off reading Destructoid’s review of Grand Theft Auto IV before you read the rest of this blog.

This is a comment I posted on the article, but with more than a hundred comments already posted, chances are it’ll get lost, hence why I’m posting it here. (Although the reviewer was quick to respond, even if his answers didn’t quite satisfy me.)

First and foremost, I should state that I’m of the opinion that a 10 doesn’t indicate a perfect game. Personally, I would’ve given the game a 10, but I’ve read GamerNode’s review which gives the game an 8.7 if I remember right, and I’ve got no problem with that (or this score, for that matter) assuming you actually give some reason for the score. (And I’m not implying that it should instantly be a 10, either.)

I understand and appreciate your decision to take your time to play the game fully rather than rush through it in a day and slap up a review just for sake of doing it. And while some might say you gave the game an 8 for sake of causing controversy and garnering traffic, that’s not what I believe. Rather, I think all of the hype has had the opposite effect on the reviewer, in that it was amped up to be the greatest game ever (which is likely why you saw so many 10s), but it failed to live up to that and was thereby penalized for not being the pinnacle of perfection. But just like reviewers should shrug off the hype and not give a game a high score because of it, it should likewise not be penalized for not being as great as the hype would have you believe. That shouldn’t necessarily disqualify it from being a 10, though.

My problem with this review, though, is the fact that you’re a month late and yet I got nothing more out of it than I did any other. Okay, I’ve got the reassurance that you’ve played the hell out of it (presumably that’s the case, it’s quite possibly someone who reviewed it within a week played it more), but this still boils down to a bullet-point, consumer reports-style review. Again, there was nothing wrong with posting this review so late and letting the experience sink in, but given that you did have the benefit of that, shouldn’t this review have gone more into the feelings its story and moral decisions evoke? (You say there’s no black-and-white decisions on those decisions, while I’d argue the exact opposite — particularly since it’s a “press A to let him live” or “press B to kill him” scenario.) Instead, you chose to consolidate those two key points you had a great opportunity to talk about — especially now that most people have played the game, you can actually have a discussion with the reader — and spent but a few sentences on them, while you spent a paragraph rehashing the story we already all know, as you say.

My apologies if I’ve rambled on incoherently at all, but I’m short on time at the moment. But I really feel like this review had the opportunity to really do something more than the typical cookie-cutter review I can get at dozens and dozens of websites — not to mention the fact that I could have gotten them weeks ago. This review was written as if people haven’t already made up their mind to purchase the game or not, and while there are indeed no doubt millions of gamers who haven’t purchased the game yet, chances are that the majority of Destructoid readers don’t fit into that demographic.

Twitter, you have failed me. I made use of you so very much before the service blew up last spring, and throughout the summer I enjoyed your microblogging. But, sadly, you’ve become the MySpace of microblogging.

Why do I bother visiting anymore? I get an error almost every time I click on your favicon in my toolbar, the loads are long, pagination hasn’t worked in days, and it’s an all-around hassle. So why do I bother visiting? Because everyone is on there. Just like with MySpace, all of my friends had MySpace accounts, where very few had an account with Facebook, which — apps or no apps — is far superior a service.

It’s just so frustrating, because the likelihood of the vast majority of Twitter users migrating to an equivalent service (like so many people went from MySpace to Facebook, even if they kept using MySpace because some people lingered) is unlikely, and thusly the entire point of the service will be ruined. I don’t want to have to rely on FriendFeed or something of the sort to keep track of everyone’s microblogging, let alone their actions across 30 different social networking websites.

[14:08] Umpakati: i know but it sort of creates a border between the header and the content
[14:08] Umpakati: so youre saying it should not connect with the city
[14:08] ChrisRedfieldCR: well I’m not saying it’s bad
[14:09] ChrisRedfieldCR: I think I preferred it without it connecting but if I stared at it for 5 minutes I might change my mind
[14:09] Umpakati: let me see
[14:09] Umpakati: okay
[14:09] Umpakati: i put it back
[14:10] Umpakati: i can make them skinnier / wider / whatever
[14:10] ChrisRedfieldCR: yeah I’ve got emails that can do that too
[14:10] ChrisRedfieldCR: nvm I actually do like it to connect to the city
[14:11] Umpakati: Lol

As seen on FileFront’s Gaming Today:

You see, Castaway is the company behind the atrocity on Xbox Live Arcade known as Yaris. Simply referring to it as the worst game on XBLA would be a gross understatement. Despite being free, I will never be able to rid it enough from my hard drive, my gamertag, and my mind. That game was so craptacular that it makes being stuck in traffic a more wholesome activity. It was so awful that I actually thought about typing that I would prefer watching Carlos Mencia’s show, but that would be downright silly. Nothing is that bad.

I mentioned to Brendon last night how I wondered why Trey and Matt had never ripped on Carlos Mencia before on South Park. He figures it’s to avoid giving him publicity, which makes sense. Nevertheless, I felt the need to begin compensating for the lack of people pointing out how much he sucks recently.

I’m in complete and utter shock over the announcement that Games for Windows is closing its doors (pages?) and moving online. While the move from print to online is an inevitability, you never really expect that it’s time for that move.

I’ve been reading GFW/CGW for at least a decade and I feel like I’m losing a dear friend. Sure, the writers will remain online and from a content perspective this will presumably be a much better situation. But I still can’t believe that I won’t be spending a week each month running out to get the mail as soon as it comes to see if my new GFW had arrived.

It’s a tough loss, but hopefully there are only things to be gained through the transition to online.

Things are going well for the following reasons:

-The LA Lakers are currently FIRST in the Western Conference. Yes, Kobe’s team is in first above the Suns, Spurs, Mavs, Warriors, Hornets, and everyone else. They’re also the hottest team in the entire league right now.

-New season of Reno 911 starts tonight at 10:30 PM EST. About time.

-I was recently invited on Attack of the Show.

I won’t be doing it, but getting the invite is just tremendously awesome.

I’m currently looking at new mobile phones.. a Motorola Q or SCH-i760 (I believe that’s the model) would be great, but I don’t know if I can really afford it right now. I’d like a Windows Mobile phone, and preferably one I can get to sync with my desktop, laptop, and palm pilot. Although being able to do that without the new phone would be more than sufficient. Hell, take the laptop out and stick email, contacts and calendar in there. Any combination, really, would make me happy.

Also, the current videogame Deal of the Year is held by Twisted Metal: Head On - Extra Twisted Edition. You can’t beat all this for $20.

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